Testimony of Cristina. A pact with darkness.
The patient, who in this story takes the name of Cristina, feels often frozen in her activities when she tries to carry out her purpose in her present life. With the help of her therapist she goes to a past life where these symptoms started, when she was a man who made a pact with darkness in order to obtain power and social acceptance by the members of a sect. Cristina, helped by her therapist, undoes the pact which was limiting her, heals the damages caused and solves the impediments which blocked her.
A pact with darkness.
Faust: So, hell itself has its own laws? I like it. Then, sirs, in all confidence we could reach an agreement with you?
Mephistopheles: Whatever will be promised you will enjoy fully, nothing will be held back. I am your companion, and if you are satisfied with me, I will be your servant, your slave.
Faust: And, what should I do for you in exchange? State clearly your conditions. A servant such as you conveys danger to the house.
Mephistopheles: I bind myself to serve you here, abiding by your least indication, without peace or rest. When we meet again in the beyond, you will do as much for me. One more thing… for reasons of life or death, I ask you to write a couple of lines. Any small sheet will be fine. And you will sign with a small drop of your blood.
Faust: If that makes you happy, let us do it as a joke.
Mephistopheles: Blood is a very peculiar fluid.
Faust: There is no risk that I break this agreement. What I actually promise is the concern of all my energies.
The agreement between Faust and Mephistopheles is perhaps the classical example of a pact with darkness. In a few words Goethe explains the conditions and consequences of this peculiar covenant. Mephistopheles commits himself to serve Faust during the latter’s physical life. In compensation, Faust commits himself to pay back this service in the beyond. The signature by Faust with a drop of his blood rounds off the agreement, and besides Faust promises with all his energy. This is the essence of any agreement.
We shall hereafter see how, in a practical form, this sort of pacts become apparent when we work with the past lives therapy, and which are their repercussions on a person’s development and life.
It is not by accident that Cristina (36) landed in our workshop «Meeting with the soul’s light» at Ibiza. Cristina had great difficulties handling power and with uprightness. She was aware of her abilities, but when the time came to put into practice her aptitudes she froze, fear blocked her and she became very anxious. As usual, I asked Cristina where she felt this fear and she answered:
–I feel fear in my breast, in my throat, and my voice trembles, as if all of a sudden all my force left me.
I took this phrase by Cristina as the indication of an experience out of her conscience, and from there she started her experience.
Friday, October 24, 2008.
Therapist: Where are you when you feel that your strength is leaving you? As if you were in which place?
Cristina: I am sitting in a boat, surrounded by other people. I think I am a man and I have a control staff in my right hand. The boat is quite adorned and glides through a river. There are people on the river banks and we are going to an important place. It looks like a ceremonial. We feel all very honoured to do this job. I see rushes and a very large, white entrance gate. We go ashore and start walking. We have to walk this stretch to reach the ceremony, it is part of it. We are very conscious that we are walking this stretch –she says while she bursts into tears.
T: What’s wrong?
C: I am not sure I will be able to do my part. My legs are shaking! But nobody must see –still crying–. I must hold my place. I must do my job well. I must do that for which I have come, whether I like it or not.
T: What is it you have come to do?
C: I must sacrifice! –she keeps crying and writhing.
T: That’s it, go on!
C: I know what I must do, but I don’t want to! But I must do it, it is my responsibility. I have the power, why should I have the power? No! This path is horrible! –crying–. I have the strength and I know that I must do it. I have a strength in my hands which is not mine. And I must do it!
T: Whose is this strength you have in your hands?
C: It is not mine, it comes from above, from another place, from the cosmos, wherever. I have now this strength in my hands, I can feel it.
T: What do you feel in your hands?
C: An incredible vibration. As if this strength were not mine, it is not mine! –she cries– Why should I do this? I am fighting with myself.
T: Why is it that you have to do it?
C: Because I have the power.
T: And how is it that you have the power?
C: I don’t know, I feel I was born like this, as if it were in my lineage. And it is not the first time I do it. I know well what I must do.
T: And what is it that you must do?
C: I must shed blood! And I must do it with my hands!
T: What must you do with your hands?
C: I must cut somebody’s throat. A young girl is coming forward. She has given herself up, knowing what is going to happen and what everybody expects.
T: What do you feel when the girl comes near?
C: I don’t feel anything. When I am here I don’t feel anything, I do it and that’s it. I carry on the ceremony.
T: How is the ritual?
C: I fill a vessel with her blood and then there is something else I must do with it. I must do a ritual and everybody expects me to do it. The girl is lying on the stone. She is dying! Everybody looks on as if it were normal. And I act as if all were right, but deep down I know this is horrible. This is very wrong! It makes no sense doing this, but I am doing it again! –crying.
T: Show me how you do it.
C: I take the vessel and offer it for everybody to drink. And everybody drinks! It is some sort of communion. I must pray, I must say a prayer to darkness. I surrender all this to darkness.
T: To whom do you surrender all this?
C: I think it is Satan or something like that –she cries desperately– I surrender to him.
T: How do you surrender?
C: In body and soul! –she screams and cries disconsolately–. Aaahhh! And I deliver also the others!
T: Which is the formula you say when you surrender to Satan?
C: Take me! That’s what I want. I want the power! Give me the power! Give me the power of this soul I am sacrificing now. Give it to me! Give it to us!
T: Very well, I will count up to three and you will go back to the beginning, to the fact that made you surrender to darkness. One, two, three. How does it all begin?
C: I am a small child, I am at home with my family. But something looks wrong. My father is dying and is full of hate. He tells me I must defend myself, that I cannot be so good. That I must die a different way, that I cannot die the way he is dying, poor, rejected by the temple. Somebody did not like him and took the power from him. He tells me it is no use to be good. «No use!» he says, «If you are good you die like a dog, your death is terrible!» So he tells me «do whatever is necessary to get your power».
T: Then, what comes next?
C: I start thinking that not always you must do things right, that perhaps there are other means. There are other temples, and if there we are rejected, why don’t I try and do it differently?
T: That’s it, go on.
C: I want to go into a temple and do what my father did, but they won’t let me in. So I will find another way of doing it.
T: How do you do it?
C: I surrender my soul –she is crying.
T: How do you surrender your soul? Tell me how you do it.
C: I surrender to foul arts. I am initiated with a very powerful ritual, with many people. I enter the circle and know that there is no coming back, but I go in because I want to, I do it because I want the power.
T: Very well, now observe. Whom do you deliver your soul?
C: To Satan –in a whisper.
T: How is the ritual?
C: I get into a circle of several people. There is much attraction, but at the same time a lot of darkness. I am in the centre and I think I keep my arms raised and looking upwards. I must pronounce some words in a strange language. They tell me the words, which I repeat, and as I repeat them I feel I am becoming stronger, larger, and I can do what I want! –she says, shouting.
T: And what if you knew what is it you say when you pronounce these words?
C: I surrender, I give myself up to you with all my being, I am conscious of doing what I want to do, and to do so for you. I give you my soul, I give you all that I am, and in exchange I shall be one of your people FOREVER! –she shouts and cries at the same time–. And I feel it, I surrender fully, completely. (This is the pact).
T: Please, observe what happens after this ritual.
C: I am accepted, now I am one of the group and can take part in each ritual, in each sacrifice, and so I increase my power and take on power easily. It becomes easy. I feel I was born to have power and I can get it here.
T: Very well, I’ll count up to three and you shall move forward to a meaningful fact in that life after that initiation– One, two, three. What’s going on?
C: Today I must kill him.
T: Whom are you to kill?
C: My brother.
T: How is it that you have to kill your brother?
C: It was decided by the people who are up there, in the temple. Something happened with my brother, he did something wrong. He did something improper, and they grant me the honour to do it, my first time, with my brother. I feel privileged to have to do it, but there I start having doubts, and inner fight, it is not clear to me if it is worthwhile. I love my brother! How can I do this? But I took an oath and I am a man of his word. I cannot! –she cries–. But I must do it! I shall sink into darkness if I do it. I shall also lose my heart! I am going to do it. I go, I go, and… do it!
T: Show me how you do it.
C: Like this! –and she looks as if about to cut somebody’s throat– Blood is splashing me! –she cries while rolls on the ground–. But I must do it, it is my role. I cannot show my grief! No! That is only inside, I must keep the solemnity of this moment. I am strong, I am here for my people. Therefore I carry on the ceremony, cleaning the tool of sacrifice and drinking the blood, Ahhh!
T: That’s it. What do you feel while drinking your brother’s blood?
C: Aaahhh! It burns! Everything burns! But I am strong, and give the blood to everybody so they may drink too. I stay to the end. So it had to be. It is finished.
T: Now, consider what has happened up to now: which is the most difficult moment in this experience?
C: When I am about to do it.
T: And in that moment, when you are about to do it, which are your physical reactions?
C: I am trembling all over, I am panic-stricken. I feel I am breaking inside.
T: And which are your emotional reactions when you are breaking inside?
C: I am not going to feel anything, I am not going to feel love. I give up love, too.
T: And which are your mental reactions at that time, when you also give up love?
C: I must do so, but I don’t want to. But I do it.
T: Now, observe how all these reactions are upsetting your life as Cristina. This «I am trembling all over», the panic, «I am breaking inside», «I give up love», «I must do it but I don’t want to», all this, what is it pushing you to do as Cristina?
C: I cannot relax, I feel always compelled, I have always an inner fight, I am always broken inside.
T: And all this, what does it stop you from doing as Cristina?
C: What I want to do, what I would like to do.
T: Very well, now I will count to three and you will go forward to the time of your death in that life to end with all this. One, two, three. What’s going on?
C: Aaahhh! Cough, caught! –she is choking– Aaahhh! Aaahhh!
T: What’s happening?
C: They are cutting my throat! Aaahhh! Aaahhh! –she rolls on the ground, choking, holding her throat with her hands.
T: Why is it they are cutting your throat?
C: My time had come, it was written, I could only stay there some time. It is a way of carrying on, of giving my blood for others.
T: And see, which is the most terrible moment of that death?
C: I don’t feel anything, I don’t feel anything.
T: Not feeling anything, which are your physical reactions?
C: Nothing matters.
T: And not feeling anything, and now that nothing matters, which are your emotional reactions?
C: I get lost in the shadow.
T: And when you are lost in the shadow, which are your mental reactions?
C: I deserve to die.
T: Now, consider how all these feelings are concerning your life as Cristina. This «I don’t feel anything, I get lost in the shadow» and «I deserve to die», what does it make you do as Cristina?
C: I don’t do anything to change, to find my path. I drag along through inertia, I feel I do not deserve anything.
T: And all this, how does it stop you from acting?
C: I feel I do not deserve to act, to work.
T: And now, observe something else. At that moment, when you sacrifice your brother, what does he tell you?
C: «Why? Why? How did you get mislaid?»
T: And what do the other victims say when you cut their throats?
C: They are unresisting, but deep down they are stronger than I am. I have much power, but they are stronger than I am.
T: Very well, I will count to three and you will go to an instant before they cut your throat so that you will experience that death more profoundly. This is very important to put an end to all this for ever. One, two, three: how does the ceremony start?
C: I am sitting on the throne in that temple. I walk down from the throne and start moving towards the altar. I go up. Every step feels heavy. Everybody else is praying, the sound is like of thunder. I play my part, I surrender.
T: I count to three and you will go to the moment they cut your throat, and you let your body do whatever it must do. One, two, three. What does your neck feel when they cut it?
C: Aagh! Aagh! Aagh! –she is choking and rolling without saying a word.
T: That’s it, what does your neck feel, your vocal chords, your trachea? What happens to your lungs, to your brain? What happens to your thoughts?
C: (Cristina is choking, she rolls on the ground while I keep asking, but she cannot say a word).
T: Which is the last thing you can think of in that body?
C: It is finished. No more power! No more power! (This is the order which blocks the exercise of personal power).
T: Observe how these last words are having an effect on your life as Cristina, that «It is finished! No more power!» What do they cause you to do as Cristina?
C: I cannot be myself, I cannot do what I want to do, –she says, crying.
T: All this, what does it stop you from doing?
C: Following my path, I cannot do what I want to do. I dare not, I don’t feel worthy.
T: Observe one more thing: what happens when you leave that body?
C: Ah! I cannot go to the Light, I cannot go to the Light! They do not allow me to go to the Light.
T: Where do you go? Where are you?
C: I am sort of put off, there is nothing else.
T: Very well, now I am going to put an important question: are you willing to break the pact you made with darkness?
C: Yeees! –she is crying.
T: Then, I am going to ask for the assistance of Archangel Michael so that he helps you to break the pact you made with darkness. Repeat with me: «Archangel Michael, I repent of my decision and want to break the pact I made with darkness.»
C: (Cristina repeats word by word with me).
T: That’s it: «Archangel Michael, humbly I ask you to help me and assist me to break the pact I made with darkness. Archangel Michael, humbly I ask you to let me have your sword of light to break the chains which bind me to darkness.»
C: (She repeats with me).
T: Very well, now repeat three times: «I, Cristina, through the power of my will, break and invalidate definitely and forever the pact I made with darkness in that life, and recover my power and my light.»
C: (She repeats three times).
T: Very well, now you take Saint Michael’s sword and, when I say three, you will break the pact and the chains which bind you to darkness. One, two, three.
C: (Cristina gestures as if she had a sword in her hands and breaks the pact).
T: And now you will demand to have back the energy they robbed from you: «I want my energy and my soul, and I want them at this very moment!»
C: I want my soul and my energy! I want them back now, I need them now! I demand to have back the power I gave you! It is mine! It belongs to me! I want it at this very moment! I want my power now! It is my power and it is good! It is good! –she gestures with her arms extended to take back her energy.
T: Now you go and talk to your brother in that life, and to those other victims, and you tell them what is right to finish with all this for ever and be at peace.
C: Aaahh! I am so sorry, my heart is very sorry –she cries–. It was not my power, it was not mine!
T: That`s it: «I give you back what I took from you.»
C: I give you back what I took from you, it was not mine.
T: Very well, and to be cleaned completely I shall give you some handkerchiefs, you turn on your side and you vomit all the blood you drank in that life.
C: (Cristina takes the handkerchiefs and vomits. It is understood that it is an energy vomiting).
T: Very well, now give thanks to Archangel Michael, give him back his sword, and as for forgiveness from the Light because you were confused.
C: Thank you, Archangel Michael. I beg your forgiveness for my confusion, forgive me, forgive me.
T: Very well, make sure you pick up all your energy from that body, and be aware that, with his death, that body completed his experience. Nothing from that time belongs to you anymore. It is all finished. You will pick up all your energy and you take that part of your soul to the Light with the help of Saint Michael. Ask the Archangel to take you to the Light.
C: «Saint Michael, I humbly ask you to take me to the Light, please leave me in the Light.»
T: That’s it. Let me know when you are in the Light.
C: I am already in the Light –with a quiet voice.
T: Very well. Is there anything else you want to add?
C: I am happy in the Light, because I thought I did not deserve it, that I would never get there. I thought there was something bad in me, but now I see that it is not so. I am allowed to stay in the Light.
T: (We finish the job on Cristina stitching up the wound on her neck to reestablish the energy flow in that area.)
Quite often I have witnessed experiences similar to that of Cristina with different people. The participation of a patient in human sacrifices in past lives is a recurring topic when we work on the origin of some difficulties in a person’s life. It is clear that there is not a pathognomonic symptom showing in advance that we will find such an experience. But, if the consultant has a story of blocked talents, difficulty to take up their personal power, strength or energy loss, inability to affirm their true being, or harassment from negative energies, probably there is a pact with darkness in previous lives, and as a therapist I must be ready to face the situation.
With or without a human sacrifice, pacts with the darkness are always revolving around the same thing: obtaining power in exchange of surrendering a person’s will and energy, who will assume the obligation to serve in the beyond the authority which provides that power. Imagine that, to obtain that power, Cristina surrenders to Satan saying: I surrender my soul, and in exchange I shall be one of your people for ever and ever. And here is the hoax, because in the beyond there is no time. The person taking this commitment becomes trapped in the clause which demands its fulfilment at the end of the physical life, but life in the physical body is short and limited, while eternity has no end. The consequences of the pact will be felt life after life until it becomes apparent and it may be annulled. It does not matter in which life is the person, every time the soul tries to move forward in the path of light, it will meet the opposition of hostile forces, which will put obstacles or will try to prevent their progress, because they will demand the fulfilment of the pact.
Signing the pact with blood binds even more the soul of the person who has signed. Goethe says that blood is very peculiar fluid. It is so because blood has powerful hidden qualities. It is a man’s life and Mephistopheles knows that he will certainly have Faust more in his power if he can get even one drop of his blood. An old aphorism says that «what has power over your blood has power over you.»1 Through this signature the soul surrenders its energy and its will to another force. Every time that a therapist is faced by a pact signed with blood, he will have to appeal to Archangel Michael, because the patient will need the strength of a superior authority in order the free the soul from its subordination to darkness.
Another important factor when working with pacts made with the darkness is the one related to the consequences in this life, of the consultant, and the pact signature and its invalidation are perhaps the most dramatic moment of the therapeutic work, but that is not enough. As a therapist I must help the patient to become conscious of the effects of the pact in his present life.
Cristina describes exactly these effects in her daily life: giving up love, living in a permanent inner war, to feel compelled and divided inwardly, and not to deserve to work or practise, among other things. The death blow for her present life came from her last thought in that experience when she said «no more power». That condition which blocked Cristina from activating her personal power. We may have the ability and the talent to carry out our plans in this life, but if at the same time we have a subconscious setup reminding us continuously «no more power, no more power, no more power», how can we do what we want to do if an order inside us ordains the opposite? Cristina explains it clearly: I cannot be myself, I cannot do what I want to do.
Let us see now Cristina’s thoughts several years after that experience.
Since that experience in the Ibiza’s workshop, my life has taken place between work, study, and plans which come up and take shape little by little. Now I can see that it has been a time of growth and deep movements.
After the workshop at Ibiza I became more conscious of my strength and my abilities. I completed a training in Gestalt psychology, which has helped me to improve my work as a therapist, a work area which I am taking up and to which I am dedicating myself with more and more decision.
Especially, my regression put me in touch with the power of my word, which has made me be especially careful with what I say, to whom I say it and how I say it. Before the workshop, during years I had been afraid when I had to talk in front of a group. Thanks to the regression, I became conscious of the reason of my difficulties. Even if sometimes I still have some apprehension, I may say that I have improved very much my ability to appear in public, to talk and to lead a group. In my work I now do it routinely.
I have also understood better my role with respect to my brother and the difficulties between us, accepting that I have also added pain and difficulties to the relationship, because previously I saw myself only as my brother’s victim, but not as his aggressor. In this sense, my experience with the darkness has brought me near to my own dark side and to that of others, it has brought me near the shadow of the persons I come in contact with, which has helped me to be a better therapist.
Another factor which has always been there, but that in the workshop became very clear, is my connection with the angels. They are more and more present in my life, and are allies which lead me and protect me.
The experience in the Ibiza workshop was very powerful. After more than five years from that experience, I feel as if it were yesterday when José Luis stitched up my throat after I was beheaded in that life.
I am very grateful for the opportunity to share this process, which helped me to work towards a more spiritual development, but, above all, to become a more complete person.
Doctor José Luis Cabouli, Atrapamiento y recuperación del alma. Terapia de vidas pasadas. Un nuevo paradigma. (Entrapment and recovery of the soul. Past Life Therapy: A New Paradigm). Ediciones Continente, Pages 123 to 134.
Translation: Loto Perrella.
1 Notes to the Spanish version of Faust, by J. Roviralta Borrell. (Note from the Author).